writings

The Winding Road

There was a road filled with glory

A road that only I could see

It was my road of Happiness, Joy and Love

There was a road straight and narrow

The road that I chose to walk, It was my road.

There was a road with no mountains or hills to climb

It was just as smooth as could be – it was my road

There was a road with flowers lined, that

Bloomed all year round, It was my road.

There was a road clearly marked, that lead my life to joy

It was my road

There was a road that reared its ugly shoulders,

Things in my life began to tumble, It was not my road.

The road was no longer straight and narrow

Not the road I chose to walk, It was not my road.

There was a road with many mountains and hills,

Rugged and rough as it were, It was not my road.

There was a road with wilted flowers

That bloomed just once a year, It was not my road.

The road became blurry, that lead my life to sorrow

It was not my road.

The road of life has to be two roads, each different to

Travel on. I guess that is now my road.

Oh God, Have I forsaken Thee?

Where is my road? Where has my road gone?

I need to know before it’s to late. Where is my road?

You know I need the love of another.

But does my road need to be so rough?

Can I not walk in the pathway straight?

Can I not have my flowers too?

Do the mountains have to be there?

You answer me with silence. Why my Lord? Are you there?

Then with a roar of a lions breath, In clouds of thunder you come.

You look at me and not speak, I don’t really understand Lord.

You look at me with those comforting eyes.

Your arms spread wide. I died for you. What more do you want?

I can give you comfort and peace.

But earth’s comfort and peace you make yourself.

That is your road to walk.

My arms are still yours. My peace and comfort I give.

But your road is yours to choose.

Rev. Clifford E. Turpin

10-31-87

What Do I Know For Sure

I know for sure at the early age of 12 I was attracted to the male body.

I know that at the age of 17 while in the Military I had my first male sexual encounter.

I know for sure that at the age of 20 I dated an Air Force Captain while stationed in Germany.

I know for sure that while I lived in Hawaii I started my life into the Clergy.

I know for sure that I am Gods’ child.

I know for sure that in Gods’ love of you, he never made a mistake and thus created you and me, as we are for who and what we are.

I know for sure that I was placed in the Clergy to March for Gay/Lesbian Rights.

I know for sure that I was prepared to love and comfort Aids Patients.

I know for sure I was given the loving task to hold Aids Patients in my Arms as they drifted off into permanent sleep to be with their creator.

I know for sure I was to bury many people with Aids.

I know I was to grant loving relationships with the Churches Blessing upon them.

I know I was to marry a sweet loving woman and then to divorce.

I know that I as a 56-year-old male was to meet the man of my life, who is 26.

I know that we were married in Vermont, we have a home, a Foster Son, 2 cats a dog, a heavy mortgage, lots of bills, 2 cars, and a lawn to mow each year.

I know that I am who I am; I know that my relationship is firm; I know that our Son although he is str8 still loves his two dads.

I know that with God's Blessing I will awaken tomorrow morning.

I know that WE all of us are as equal as anyone else on this earth. I further know that we must stand daily and take our positions in life.

But One Thing I Know For Sure. We are here, we are loved, and we are needed, by each other and for each other. One day most of the Str8 world will awake and realize we are all the same.

We were all created from the same Creator, of the same dirt, the same blood.

WE ARE ALL SISTERS AND BROTHERS. Gay/Lesbian/Str8 no matter our walk in life.

PEACE AND LOVE!

Rev. Cliff

10/11/05

Cliff,

Hello ... just finished reading your website and wanted to share with you a few things. I am so glad to see that you are proud of who you are. You have all rights to be even though you have others who will not agree with you or your lifestyle. Hold your head up ... continue to have that pride. My son Michael Joseph is a homosexual young man also. I am so very proud of him. My culture tends to look at being "gay" much differently than most. I know that sounds odd but let me explain ....

At first, when my son told me about being homosexual, I went through all the emotions of ... "I did not raise him this way", "How could he do this to me?" (imagine that ... as if it were a personal thing against me LOL), "I need to teach him differently" and the best of all "Maybe it was becasue he had no mother". After all that was over I had to think about it. I thought long and hard and I realized that if I opened my eyes, my son had a gift that I did not posess. He had the gift to love another human being without barriers. The Creator has given us all the ability to love. Unfortunately, some of us have put barriers on the love that was given to us. Some of us become prejudice with our love. We let things stop us like age, sex etc .. Folks like yourself and my son .... you have so much to "teach" us who have put barriers on our love. You have a love that has no barriers. You see the true person, the inside of one ... their spirit so to speak. You have an ability that many wish they possess and can only dream about, you have the ability to find your soulmate by putting no barriers up. While others will stop due to their own prejudice and will make all attempts to hide their feelings because of their prejudices, you do not. Thank you for giving us the gift .. the gift of true love. I only wish that others could see how beautiful your life is and learn from it instead of ridiculing it. I am sorry that there are other folks who wish to put you down. You know ... it is alot like my culture. We feel that folks have a lack of education about our people. When there is something the white man does not understand, he tends to ridicule it and put it down until he makes himself superior. No matter if it is race, religion, culture or lifestyle ... if they do not understand it rest assured they will run it in the ground until they feel superior. I guess I have written you a book here and did not mean to. I am not an educated man, not even a US citizen (the reservation is not considered part of the US but our own nation, I refuse citizenship) BUT I know there are angels who walk this earth and I just kind of feel you are one of them and wanted to say thank you. Thank you for loving with no boundaries, thank you for being the man you are to stand and educate about your lifestyle, thank you for helping the children, thank you for being kind and most of all thank you for opening the eyes of people like myself. You do make a difference in this world and I am so glad that our paths crossed. I hope that your family and mine may become the best of friends. ~ RB

REDNECK LETTER

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though. Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,

I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.

My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,

My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,

Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,

Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,

Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.

In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,

So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,

But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.

Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the

sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,

And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,

A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,

Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.

Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,

Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,

"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!

Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,

You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,

Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light

Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."

"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,

That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,

I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"

Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',

And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,

But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,

The red, white, and blue... an American flag.

I can live through the cold and the being alone,

Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,

I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.

I can carry the weight of killing another,

Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and all,

To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,

Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,

"Give you money," I asked, "or pre pare you a feast?

It seems all too little for all that you've done,

For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,

"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.

To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,

To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,

To know you remember we fought and we bled.

Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,

That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

PLEASE, Would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S. service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us.

LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN

30th Naval Construction Regiment

OIC, Logistics Cell One

Al Taqqadum, Iraq